wake me up when september ends

i've encountered very enlightening quotes of some people that i believe will really guide me and will not cause me to get lost.

ralph waldo emerson said on self-reliance,

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men -- that is genius."

allen ginsberg said,

"Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy!
The nose is holy! The tongue and cock and hand and asshole holy!
Everything is holy! everybody's holy! everywhere is
holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman's an angel!"

my 38th parallel, my demarcation line

while i was lining up in one of save more-riverbanks' counter, in front me were two korean girls. though i never understood them because they were talking in korean, i watched them with childlike interest as if i was comprehending what they are talking about or as if i am listening to some hot gossip in the news. they were having a hearty talk, as shown by their chuckles and occasional loud laughters.

they never knew that i was already pondering deep. it made me asked is their any way that makes them different in so far as what is right or wrong, what is moral or not, or what is acceptable or not. they grew up in a different environment, exposed to a different culture, followed a distinctly korean set of beliefs. are they going through what i am going through right now?

the experience of finding them interesting still, even though i do not understand is the same as finding my predicament interesting still, even though i am more confused than ever, i am more left out in the middle of nowhere. should i take the plunge or not?

so much for a very philosophical september.

september

this has been a very philosophical september...

got sync?

the whole afternoon i spent trying to find the best spot on the rooftop or the 27th floor of the S. T. building, where i can get a very good signal from those GPS antennas revolving the skies to be used as a clock to one of our products.

the event send me into a philosophical state again. i envy that product, in a way, because, it just has to find a really good spot to detect sync.

now, i am still pondering to which satellite i find myself in sync with.

when it seems all i once previously believed in are contradicting to what really is happening. am i out of sync? sometimes, i feel i lived in a different world. this world makes me feel so irrelevant.

perfect morning

what i had for breakfast? i had a cup of milo, 5 pan de sals, 2 ensaymadas, and a plate of "commercial" spaghetti, while wild cherry's "play that funky music" is being played on the background.

love is...

now i know,

love is not just a line in a poem...

love is not a sweet melody...

love is not the flowers, the chocolates, the pick-up lines

love is not the game

love is not the "rituals,"

love is a thing i do not know

love is not in a hurry?!!

still i am clueless.

last night

i had a very wonderful dream last night.

i dreamt of her.

the smiles. the laughters. the touches. the glances. it seemed so real.

all the more i should let go of her.

all the more...

all the time...

for you,

i rejoice with my misery.

i rejoice with my sorrow.

thank you, girl.

i hear wailing people

countless cries of untold misery, unrequited love, failed dreams, silent longings--nothing's really changed.

the flaw of this generation

the flaw of this generation--THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO WAIT and THE BANDWAGON becomes their NORM.

quarter life

recently, i just read about quarter life crisis. it made me asked myself, "am i suffering from it?" it was a good thing that i had the chance to read about it. in a man's life, erik erikson identified eight crises humans must face during development. my rational mind tells me to believe in it but i don't want to live a lifetime of crisis. ayoko!

enough of rants. maybe, i am suffering from it. but in one of these days, i am going to prove that erikson might have been a little masochist. a nice way of cheering myself up.